I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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