maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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