O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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