the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
