READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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