I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
