nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
