Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Enjoy the penises
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
