doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
