Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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