her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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