I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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