So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize