i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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