Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
