Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
