i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
