I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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