i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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