I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Dear god my vagina.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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