Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize