I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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