What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
