Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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