I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
