I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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