Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
