Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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