so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
