you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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