There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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