It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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