Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
ttyl tear gas
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Boobs speak an international language.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
