She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
