I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
