Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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