What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Two words: blizzard sex
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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