im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
