This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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