i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
