I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
