If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
