No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
