Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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