I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
