Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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