for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
