I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
