just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
