Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
