chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
