I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
