sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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