God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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