32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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