So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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