If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I would fuck him just for his dog
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
