Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
