I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
