I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
